by Elizabeth Mbata
By John bryant
Sometimes, we take ourselves far too seriously. And we don't have nearly enough fun in our lives. This combination spells misery folks.
Here is a leadership lesson that takes a minute to sink in, but once it does, it will pay enormous dividends to your sanity as a leader. Learn to let go.
"But it has to be perfect," we say. It does not, and it isn't. There, did that help?
Perfection is an illusion in your head -- that actually keeps you from both doing the very best you can, and enjoying it too. It keeps you from enjoying the ride even as the GPS directions recalibrate and changes. Learn to let go, and as I said in a prior post, 'don't let best be the death of the good.'
Take life seriously, but don't take yourself too seriously.
We should all pursue perfection as an ideal, sure, but really your goal should be excellence in all things, not perfection. Perfection obsession actually kills your spirit. It certainly kills creativity.
Not just because it is humanly impossible to be perfect, in this life, but because its pursuit never allows your soul to rest. And if you have a self esteem or confidence problem, the pursuit (or obsession) with perfection will literally devastate you.
You are then chasing a ghost of an ideal, and nothing else will do. You are trapped, and I want you to be free. Free, to be.
The pursuit of this so-called 'perfection,' never allows you to be 'good' with you.
You can never be 'reasonably comfortable in your own skin' when perfection is the image you seek in the mirror every morning when you wake.
You can never rest easy when this is the image you judge yourself by at the end of each and every night.
And if disease is a good portion 'dis-ease,' which I strongly believe, then you are also unconsciously poisoning mind,u body, spirit and soul. You are killing you, not succeeding, and I guarantee you, you are not very happy either.
Here are some simple yet powerful rules to live by:
Admit: You can’t DO everything. You want to believe that you can, but you really can’t do everything. All you do, is all you can do. Give the world all you have, and then agree to cut yourself a break.
Admit: You can’t PLEASE everyone. No matter what you do, and no matter how hard you try, you simply cannot please everyone. My personal assistant, SirJames Buchanon often says "you cannot reason with unreasonable people.” Simply, do your best, and let go of the rest.
Accept: Even when you do it right, you will often get JAMMED UP. No matter what you do, or how much you do, it will never be good enough for some. You cannot make someone happy, who woke up unhappy. Next.
Accept: Everything is not going to go AS PLANNED. Sometimes it will simply be 'ready, fire, aim,' with the best of intentions and planning. You just have to roll with it. Just go with the flow. Have a Plan B, and maybe a Plan C. And then learn to let go.
Accept: Most people around you probably won’t share your level of PASSION for what you do. Or maybe even any passion for who you have decided you will one day become. They may even be family. That's okay. You are not them, and they are not you. That's why you are the leader of your life. And they they are unhappy in theirs. So lead. And let go of the rest.
Accept: No good deed shall go unpunished. Stop looking for folks to appreciate you. That's not the way this game called life works. Do nice things simply because it is who you are, how you roll, what you enjoy. Not because you want a cookie or reward. Nor because you are expecting some kind of a thank you, or even appreciation, or anything else for that matter. I hate to say it, but stop expecting people to be decent. Be pleasantly surprised when they are. I often do the right thing, only to be handed my head in the process. But that's okay. I didn't do the good or right thing for them. I did it for me. Because that's how I roll. Try it. It's liberating. Let the rest go.
Accept: As a leader, you would rather be respected and not liked, than liked and never respected. Learn to love yourself first and life gets a whole lot easier. You stop looking for acceptance and your identity from other people. You see, just saying it and thinking about it, makes you breath easier.
Embrace: Hope for the best, expect the worse, and condition your mind for WHATEVER HAPPENS.
I often say that, for decent, normal and balanced people, 'guilt, shame and blame are useless emotions.' When you happen to fall below the mark of your own lofty expectations, what you don't then do -- is to take off your own leg, to kick and beat your own rear end with. No need to beat yourself up needlessly about it. The world is happy to do that for you.
Just do you, and when you have done your best, let that be enough. You TRIED. Let go of the rest.
But most of all --- most of all --- let go and let God, as was said in my community church growing up. If you are going to pray, then why worry. If you are going to worry, then why pray?
"My life has been touched by Roberta. She came into my life just at the right time. Her love, honesty, caring nature has brought peace and happiness in my life. Her mission and dream for fits right into my lifestyle and truly enjoy helping other through life situations. Getting the word out that through God all things are possible, and there are people who want and help others. My gift of speaking to others has been one of my positive things to have accomplished for many years and truly have been blessed to continue to help others now and in the future. Prayer is powerful and truly helps many, love being able to oversee the Prayer Team and will continue as long as I can. I have truly been blessed through Integrity Beauty Women of Excellence and my friendship and working relationship with Roberta and the other team members to get the word out to help others."
- Angela Howell
Director of American Beauties Plus Pageant